Seaside inspiration.

Daytona Beach, FL
[excerpts from my personal journal]
12-30-08

I must live by the sea someday--a presumptuous seagull told me so. And so did a little girl, though not to my face. She was not held back by a fear of what others may think. It was this childlike nievity that pushed her along the sand, arms raised in the air and hair blowing in the breeze. She screamed her response to the sea and marveled at the way the sand felt under her sneakers. I think the sea could offer enough inspiration to keep me writing for years. Here's how I picture it:

It would be a small house, white stucco with large brown wooden doors. The lower floor would only be visible from the ocean side and green ivy would be perpetually climbing up the outer walls. A homey porch overlooking the sea would of course be necessary. This house would need to be removed from any business district and booming neighborhood. I should be able to sit on my porch naked (if I so wished) and write or paint or gather inspiration at my own will.

If only.

Breathe, just breathe.

[tick]

Life these days has consisted of an endless stream of tasks awaiting my attention. I've contimplated changing this blog's title to "The [mis]adventures of a multi-tasking idiot." The chill atmosphere of Africa now seems like something I could have never experienced. I walk like an American again. I have a planner (I just vommed a little in my mouth), and every moment of every day is sucked into the tick-tock rhythm of a hateful clock. I have lists upon lists of things to accomplish, and what seems like hundreds of people who will be upset/disappointed in me if I don't accomplish it.

And, time's up.

[tock]

Trapped.

There is a fly trapped in the apartment. He is erratically plunging his small black frame into the glass, buzzing wildly in desperation. My first reaction was an annoyed glance toward the window. But now it's sympathy. He's trapped here and he knows that what's beyond that glass door is fresher air and something full of more promise and hope. It's probably more dangerous out there, what with car windshields and all, but he wants to take that chance...he needs to. He's longing for a better existence.

I just let him out.

In transit.

Why is it that I am creating a blog to be tossed into the endless expanse of the world wide web with the name, "The [mis]adventures of a lost nomad." Or better yet, why am I doing this during a period of seeming immobility? I have come to realize that I am perpetually in transit somewhere, whether that "somewhere" be an emotional state of mind or a physical destination.

My current location is Johnson City, Tennessee. I have just returned from much more exciting places in Africa and Europe, and am now making my way back into American culture and fattening food. I will be using this blog to document my experiences as a frustrated nomad stuck in a fast-paced, ever-changing world. I will start by telling you a little about myself.

As you should have already guessed, I am a bit of a wanderer. I love experiencing new cultures and in doing so, learning more about myself. I feel that I am fairly self-sufficient and can usually figure out how to get out of difficult situations on my own. Speaking of difficult situations, well--those are typically self inflicted. Sometimes I dive into something without mapping out all of the possible outcomes, in which case, being self-sufficient comes in very handy. There is nothing more exhilarating to me than spontaneity in the form of an ill-planned adventure.

Recently I was sitting on a porch in Spain (because a friend accidentally locked us out while we were eating our dinner) and a conversation ensued about each of our personalities. When it came my turn to be put on the "hot seat", I was described as being serene and poised. I guess someone else's description of me would be more accurate than what I could give myself.

It is probably worthy to note that I have a terrible sense of direction, hence the "lost" in my blog's title. I think my problem is that I spend so much time people-watching and nature-watching, that I tend to ignore those wonderful human accomplishments...street signs.

There are two things about me that never cease to annoy the people I'm close to (typically my mom and my boyfriend). I have been told that I am a procrastinator. I haven't looked into this yet, but I'm sure I'll get around to it sometime. It has also come to my attention recently that I have a horrible habit of interrupt--Yeah, so anyway...I went to the store earlier and this guy walked up to me and...This is a bad trait and I'm working on getting rid of it. Maybe I'll start on that tomorrow...or the next day.

I guess it is also worthy of mentioning my nomadic roots. Growing up I had to move around a lot and spent a majority of my childhood looking out the window of a wood-paneled Dodge Caravan that we referred to as the Jesus Mobile. My mom had a Jesus license plate on the front and legend has it that if the Jesus plate was removed, all of the nuts and bolts would drop off the vehicle. We were too afraid to try. All in all, I have lived in 7 different states and 3 different countries.

My childhood was not exactly conventional, and as much as I hated my constant mobility at the time...it is something I now cherish. My life was not "normal" in any way growing up. I was adopted as a baby by a former professional athlete and his Canadian wife, a former playboy bunny turned house wife and wonderful mother to five. We bounced around the country due to my dad's job and were educated at home, a fact that produced more ridicule and attention than I cared for at the time.

These days I'm majoring in Journalism with the plan to become a freelance international writer. I'm a laid-back, multi-tasking over-achiever. You may think that is an oxymoron, but I can assure you it is not. I love to do just about anything outside, minus golfing, much to my boyfriend's dismay. And I spend a lot of my free time playing the piano, reading, or writing.

This has been a long enough introduction. Mkay. Bye now.